While taking a practice swing, a pretty good golfer finished telling the joke he had started while three-putting the last hole. Then he grips and rips it into a hazard. Afterwards, he turns to me and says, “What did I do wrong?”

I answered, “Your swing didn’t like your joke.” I was not trying to be facetious. I was stating a fact.

It’s your game, time, and greens fee, so you have every right to use them as you see fit. But only as long as your ideas of fun don’t infringe on the rights of those playing in your group. This is not a major concern because as the old saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Meaning, joke tellers usually play with joke tellers.

To those who work hard and use this time to relax and enjoy being with their friends without any real concern for their score, I say, “This Bud’s for you.” You are most welcome and you are just as important to the game as the rest of us.

Now for those of you who put time, money and pride into your score, I suggest that while remaining cordial, you remember that you have two eyes, two ears and one mouth, and that you use them proportionally.

"What we say to ourselves has a powerful impact on our game. That's because we're not just talking-we're listening." Dr. Joseph Parent (Zen Golf-Doubleday).

There are a lot of things to do between shots, and telling jokes is not one of them. A good pre-shot routine starts the moment the next tee box or your ball comes into view. And it doesn’t matter if you have played a hole five hundred times and the weather and course conditions are perfect. Take it for granted, and you’ll be sorry.

What is the perfect pre-shot routine? Don’t know if there is one, but there are a few standard things that have worked for every conceivable type of swing.

For this example let’s say we’re on the first tee. “Oh, crap. Not the first tee. There’s at least twenty good golfers there,” you say.

Good, let’s give them something to think about.

• Standing behind your ball, you pick out a target that you know you can reach easily. You know for certain that your very best drive would reach the 150-yard marker, but no way do you even consider trying that. You decide on an area about fifty-yards short of the marker, a spot you can easily reach with your average drive. Wow! Where did all that tension go?
• As you visualize the ball dropping from high out of the sky into your target area, you take a nice breath of fresh air, and as you exhale, you can feel even more tension leave your body.
• As you walk to the ball and take your stance, you are aware of the thoughts in your mind, but you do not welcome or reject them. You allow them to come and go as they please.
• You double check to make sure the clubhead angle is square with your target, the ball is positioned properly, your grip is not too loose or too tight, and then a strange thing happens. Even without your permission, your body is taking the club back and your arms feel as if they are two feet longer. And for a moment, your left shoulder appears under your chin; then you find yourself squarely facing your target and you watch as your ball takes one hop and bounces past the 150-yard marker. Then you hear this voice, “Okay, so you can out drive Vijay. Quit posing and get off the tee.”

It may not always end like this, but after you have done your part and put a good swing on the ball, it’s out of your hands. If bad lucks shows up, it’s a chance for you to show that you are a good sport. Actions, good or bad, soon fall prey to habit.